Turning short films scripts into radio plays! First Read Radio is a beefed up table read professionally recorded with voice actors and sound designed by a team of top-notch audiophiles all while under the direction of an experienced storytelling team.
Family dinner becomes hard to swallow when Grandma Gertrude brings home her newest boyfriend – her granddaughter’s teacher. Grandma’s New Boyfriend is a funny and wildly absurd short film written by Stephanie Westendorf.
Credits
Written by: Stephanie Westendorf
Directed by: Gary Jones
Sound Supervisor and Editor: Ryan Gottshall
Produced by: Awfully Good Media
Recorded at Spacewalk Sound
www.spacewalksound.com
Cast
Narrator: Matthew Barnes
Caroline: Rhiannon Thomas
Grandma Gertrude: Stephanie Carpentieri
Brad: Devon Crittenden
Grandpa: William Gabriel Grier
Mom: Rachel Gallop
Dad: Melvin Grier
Mr. Larson: Dylan Werth
GRANDMA'S NEW BOYFRIEND
Written by Stephanie Westendorf
steph.westendorf@gmail.com 239.994.0671
INT. DINING ROOM
CAROLINE, 16, sits at the dining room table with her brother BRAD, 13, and her DAD, 40s. Her MOM, 40s, enters with food.
MOM
They should be here any minute now.
CAROLINE
I just don’t get why Grandma needs to bring a different guy home every weekend.
BRAD
Um, because she’s a straight up playaaah!
DAD
Right on, Bradster! Exploding fist bump?
They accompany with EXPLODING FIST BUMP SOUND EFFECTS.
BRAD
Exploding fist bump n’ grind.
CAROLINE
That’s so gross.
MOM
Caroline, be nice.
CAROLINE
But--
There’s a KNOCK on the door.
MOM
Come in!
GRANDMA GERTRUDE, 76, enters with her date, MR. LARSON, early 20s.
MOM (CONT’D)
Finally! There are the lovebirds!
GRANDMA GERTRUDE
Hello!
MR. LARSON
Nice to meet you all. I’m--
CAROLINE
Mr. Larson?! Grandma, that’s my math teacher!
GRANDMA GERTRUDE
And my little smarty pants!
BRAD
Noice, Mr. Larson! Keepin’ it real with the G-Spot.
MR. LARSON
I’m sorry?
GRANDMA GERTRUDE
Oh, that’s his nickname for me. The G-Spot. For Grandma Gertrude.
(raising the roof voice) G-Spot in the house!
CAROLINE
Please stop.
DAD
Caroline, is this about you not having a boyfriend? You’ll get there--
CAROLINE
Dad, are you serious?
DAD
It’s normal to feel jealous.
CAROLINE
I am not jealous of my 76-year-old grandmother dating my high school math teacher!
MR. LARSON
Please, call me Dave.
CAROLINE
No.
GRANDMA GERTRUDE
Why don’t we all sit for dinner?
MOM
(suggestive)
I bet you two have worked up an appetite.
The couple GIGGLES as they sit.
GRANDMA GERTRUDE
This one always has an appetite.
CAROLINE
Well, now I’ve lost mine.
DAD
So, how did you two meet?
GRANDMA GERTRUDE
At Caroline’s open house.
CAROLINE
What? Grandma, you said you had to leave early from the open house because you weren’t feeling well.
GRANDMA GERTRUDE
I wasn’t. I was feeling a little flushed and very hot.
Grandma Gertrude and Mr. Larson GIGGLE again.
GRANDMA GERTRUDE (CONT’D)
Davey was so charming. I had never seen anyone command a classroom like your teacher.
MR. LARSON
And I had never seen anyone command a dress like your grandmother.
The two exchange PLAYFUL NOISES and touches with increasing affection until they are full on necking with SLOBBERY KISSES.
Aww.
MOM
DAD
Isn’t that sweet?
CAROLINE
Grandma, I had to take the bus and walk 5 blocks to get home that night. All because you were banging Mr. Larson?
MOM
Caroline! Can you stop being so selfish for once?
CAROLINE
I am going to lose it.
DAD
That’s the spirit, sweetie. Someday, you will lose it. When the right boy comes along--
CAROLINE
Stop!
Or girl--
DAD CAROLINE
Oh my God! Stop!!
Finally, everyone stops and listens to Caroline.
GRANDMA GERTRUDE
What is it, Caroline?
MR. LARSON
I think I know what it is.
MOM
She’s bitter.
MR. LARSON
No, not that.
DAD
Ooh - I know! She’s lonely.
MR. LARSON
Not quite.
BRAD
She’s super lame.
MR. LARSON
Now that’s irrelevant, Brad. Caroline, I get it. You’re not comfortable with your grandmother being in a relationship with a man who’s less than a third of her age. And it’s inappropriate for me to date a student’s grandparent.
CAROLINE
Exactly! Thank you!
MR. LARSON
And it was wrong for her to ditch you at the open house - a young girl on the streets, you could have gotten mugged!
CAROLINE
I did get mugged! I told her that--
MOM
Don’t interrupt him, Caroline!
They are all hanging on Mr. Larson’s every word in his Don Draper-esque pitch speech.
MR. LARSON
But, don’t we all deserve love? I love your grandmother. And I’ll never replace your grandfather; I’m sure he was a great man. I can only hope to make her as happy as he did when he was alive.
CAROLINE
He is alive. He’s upstairs.
MR. LARSON
What’s that now?
CAROLINE
They’ve been married for 50 years.
MR. LARSON
(shocked) Gertrude, I thought--
GRANDMA GERTRUDE
(suddenly more distant)
Oh, Davey, that’s all very sweet. But, love? I thought we were just hooking up on the DL.
MR. LARSON
But--
GRANDMA GERTRUDE
I’m sorry - I just need to send a quick text.
Mr. Larson’s phone CHIMES. He reads a text.
MR. LARSON
Oh that’s me-- (devastated)
Wait...you’re breaking up with me?! Through a text?
MOM
Well, this is awkward.
MR. LARSON
Is this really happening?
DAD
(re: Mr. Larson)
Oof, looks like someone can’t take a hint.
MR. LARSON
I don’t understand--
BRAD
For a math teacher, you sure suck at adding things up.
Brad and Dad do a muffled exploding fist bump.
MR. LARSON
I guess I’ll...go?
BRAD
Get to steppin.
DAD
Brad - give him some time.
After a very uncomfortable 5 seconds or so-
DAD (CONT’D)
Okay, that’s enough time. I’ll walk you out.
MOM
Well, Caroline - anything you want to say for yourself?
GRANDMA GERTRUDE
(to Caroline)
Yea, thanks a lot, buzzkill.
CAROLINE
Wh--
DAD
(returning to the table)
Shhh! Grandpa’s coming.
The stairs CREAK as GRANDPA, 70s, makes his way down.
GRANDPA
I must’ve dozed off. What was in that tea you made me?
GRANDMA GERTRUDE
(suspicious) Just the usual.
GRANDPA
Mm - this food smells amazing. (sitting down at the
table)
Can you pass the butter? (beat)
Was someone at the door earlier?
GRANDMA GERTRUDE
Nope.
They all eat in silence - just the sound of MUNCHING and forks CLINKING on plates.
THE END